Book Closed: Almost Love With A King

We’ve met again…and it’s our first time we’ve gotten near with each other, heard each other’s voices, seen each other closely, smiled with each other, and looked in each other’s eyes. It was just an ordinary night, with his colleagues, talking about my business shits.


He must be God-sent that night because he didn’t know that I was going through some very traumatic issues caused by some assholes. And yeah, that night…I never thought he will continuously keeps me happy.


We’ve met again, the second time. He waited for me for an hour at Mc Donald’s Q. Ave. He doesn’t give me any thought of where we are heading that time but while he was driving, I am silently loving the way he sings. And that night, I got to know the man who undoubtedly creating a smile in my heart.


On August 13, 2010, on our third night of seeing each other, he surprised me. He asked me out for the Boys II Men concert. Though its very tiring to walk long, the way he cares for me when we’re passing the street worth it all. He’s the first man who asked me out to watch a concert. And after the event, I got a feeling that I still want to be with that man. An unexplainable feeling…an unexplainable happiness. We’ve gone to a bar in Timog. We’ve shared talks and differences. I will never forget when he said, “ Alam mo isa lang naman yung kinaiinisan ko sayo…parang bawat araw na magkikita tayo, lalo ka’ng gumaganda.”


That’s the first time he was able to hold my hands. We headed after to Novaliches to meet some friends of mine. While he was driving, I kept on denying to myself that I’m falling inlove to a man who is making me feel the happiness I’ve never felt before. Yes, the happiness that I’ve never felt before. And YES, I LOVE HIM.


I LOVE HIM and I’m afraid to lose him suddenly.

I have learned to love him more every time we meet.

I never got tired of kissing and hug him.

I love the way he insists to hold my sweaty hands.


I love to hear him singing when we’re with each other.


I love to hear him call me “babe”


I love smiling when he calls me “chubby cheeks”,”sexy”, and “hot”


I love the way looked at me.


I love the way he stares to my eyes.


I love the happiness I’m feeling when I’m with him.

I love the surprises.

I love kung gaano sya katakaw :)


I love the mwah’s and hug’s in his messages.


I love all my “first times” with him.


I love him… I just love the way he is.


I love KING TALAVERA. He was really a God-sent to me.


It’s been four weeks since we’ve left each other’s arms and he has taken with him half of my heart. It was hard for me to move on because he was the only man whom I’ve given all my love.


I never really thought that he’ll be just like the other men I’ve met. They lose ways of keeping me.


Days without him were miserable. I’ve long seeing him. I’m going through everyday of wanting and missing him. I still hope for him…I still love him. But, seeing him on the night of September 10, 2010…happy with someone else's arms was enough for me to finally decide to move on…to forget him now…and to accept that what we wonderfully had were now part of a happy memory. It's hard to be happy though...And I kept on thinking and murmuring "sana ako yung kasama nya ngayon...sana ako na lang, and sana ako na lang uli."


It’s my first time to cry since we’ve separated and this is enough…I have to move on and be happy now…


I know time will come that you’ll get to read this and I know when that time comes; I’m completely over with you, my king. And I know we’ll cross our paths again…I’ll be better that time and I know you'll be, too.


I’ll be over you but I will never forget the happiness and the love you gave me, King Talavera. Salamat! :)

He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

A couple of months ago, I have watched the movie "He's Just Not That Into You". I laughed and reminisced "that happened to me" moments for a great hour and a half. And because it captivates me and I want to indulged myself in that movie again, I've bought it's book, written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, on August 14, 2010 and I finished reading the 187-pages  just tonight and a minute before I start to write this blog :)

He's Just Not That Into You helps woman, of my age, who is hopelessly romantic or better yet say UNLUCKY IN LOVE, to understand guys and stop cursing them later on, after the failed relationship. Apparently, I lied,  because this story is for all women of all ages who think that guys are COMPLICATED---Although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mix messages...The TRUTH is may be he's just not that into you.

 So here's some of the quotes or memorable lines, that I want to share with you, and just like me...I bet, after reading all of these, you'll tell to yourself, too " THAT HAPPENED TO ME" :) Enjoy!

____________________________________________________________

1. “A girl will never forget the first boy she ever likes.”
2. “We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you.”
3. “How stupid is that a girl has to wait for a guy’s call anyway, right?”
4. “if a guy treats you like he doesn’t give a shit’s because he doesn’t give a shit.”
5. "An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of “ruining the friendship.”
6. "Don’t get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he’ll do the asking."
7. "If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will."
8. "Hey, let’s meet at so-and-so’s party/any bar/friend’s house” is not a date.
9. "Men don’t forget how much they like you. So put down the phone."
10. "You are good enough to be asked out."
11. “I just need you to stop being nice to me unless you gonna marry me.”
12. “- Maybe he lost my number or is out of town or got hit by a cab.- Or maybe he is not interested in seeing you again?”
13. “What if you meet the love of your life? Are you suppose to let that pass you by?”
14.  " Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We (men) like not knowing if we can catch you. We feel rewarded when we do. "
15. "Don't let the "honeys" and the "babys" fool you. His sweet nothings are exactly that. They are much easier to say than "I'm just not that into you." Remember, actions speak louder than, "There's no cell reception where I am right now." "
16. "Beware of the word "friend". It can often be used by men or the women that love them to excuse the most unfriendly behavior. Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep. "

17. "I don't want to be "sort of dating" someone. I don't want to be "kinda hanging out" with someone. I don't want to spend a lot of energy suppressing my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved. I want to be sleeping with someone I know I'll see again because they've already demonstarted to me that they're trustworthy and honorable -- and into me. "
18. "You can't blame a guy for having feelings. You love someone, you break up, you still have feeling. Thank God for that really. But having feelings don't mean you have to have sex. "
19. " Every man you have ever dated who has said he doesn't want to get married or doesn't believe in marriage, or has "issues" with marriage, will ... rest assured ... someday be married. It just will never be with you. "
20. " Everyone wants to be loved and needed, particularly by the person who just broke up with us. I understand. What could be better than hearing from the man who just told you he didn't want you in his life anymore ... his sad, wistful, "I miss you so much" voice on the other end of the phone? It's validating. It's exciting. It's irresistible. But resist you must. "
21. " My friends all say I should stop talking to him, but I think he misses me, and I like that. I miss him. I feel if I stay in touch with him, it will remind him of how great I am, and eventually he will realize that we should be together again."
22. "A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves. If he's not calling you to tell you he loves you and wants you back, it should only be because he's showing up at your new residence to do it in person ... if he's not doing any of that, he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you. Stop taking his calls and let him know what it's like to live without you. "
23. " Don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You're deeply missable. However, he's still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every day, not to be with you. "
24. "I was seeing a guy for about a month. He broke up with me, saying that he didn't feel like it could be something serious. I understood and took it well. He wanted to know if we could still hang out as friends. I said sure. Now we get together and go out and then come back to his place and have sex, just like we did before. (But now, we're "broken up.") He's really, really cute and I love having sex with him. I also think he must like me if he can't stop being around me. And I think it's kinda cool -- all pressure's off and we're having a great time together. I've decided that I think it's fine and I'm not going to call his attention for the fact that we're actually dating. Except for the fact that we broke up. "
25. "This guy is brilliant. He goes out with you, dates you, breaks up with you, then continues to sleep with you, which basically absolves him of all responsibility toward your feelings. After all, you're not going out anymore. It's genius! It's diabolical! He should be writing a book! In fact, I bet this guy could get his own little cult going if he wanted to. And let me guess, you'd be happy to sign up for that as well. For the record, this guy doesn't "like you so much that he can't stop being around you." Because here's what guys don't do if they can't live without you: they don't break up with you. This guy is seriously not into you, it's crazy. The only way you're going to figure out how into you you are ... is how fast you get rid of him. "
26. " Don't underestimate the power of sex, even with someone you've been doing it with for a very long time. Especially with someone you've been doing it with for a very long time. Breaking up means not seeing them again, which also implies not seeing them naked again. It might be tempting to forget this pearl of wisdom, but just remember, it's still called breakup sex. No one has yet to rename it oh-my-god-the-sex-was-so-good-we-got-back-together-again-and-lived-happily-ever-after sex. "
27. " He's sniffing for something better, and when he doesn't find it, he gets lonely and comes "home." It's not that he's so into you. It's that he's so not into being alone. Don't give him the chance to break up with you for the fourth time. (Even the idea of it sounds beneath you, doesn't it?) Reset your breakup maximum to one and move on."
28. "Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company. "
29. "Don't confuse being classy with being a doormat. Classy is walking away with your head held high, graciously, and with all dignity. Being a doormat is offering to drive him to the dentist for his root canal. "
30. " Breakups, I've heard, are supposed to be just that. Breaks. Hard, clean breaks. No talking, no seeing, no touching ... keep your hands to yourself. The relationship is over. Half the people I know move after a huge breakup, and frankly that makes perfect sense to me. You're not supposed to sleep with the guy who just broke your heart a week ago. Fine. Next time I'm in this situation I'll cry. Stay in bed and wail. Go to the gym if I can. Call all my friends and burden them with my misery. Sleep too much. Cry some more. See my therapist more often. Get a puppy. Do whatever I have to so eventually I can move on. "
31. " Breakup sex still means you're broken up. "
32. " Cut him off. Let him miss you. "
33. " Don't give him the chance to reject you again. "
34. "No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing. "
35. "Being lonely ... being alone ... for many people ... sucks. I get it, I get it, I get it. But still I have to say that yes, my belief is that being with somebody who makes you feel shitty or doesn't honor the person you are is worse. "
36. "Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with."
37. "You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time. "

 Did it happen to you?

Sharing My Year Prediction

My Birthday is January 31, 1987 and this year is 2010.

In numerology, my personal year number is 8. How the Feng Shui expert came up with 8? Here it is,

January is the first month of the year thus, no. 1 plus, my birth date which is 31 (1+31=5)
I want to know what will happen to me this year so, 2+0+1+0 = 3
Finally, add 5 and 3= 8.
8 is my personal number for this year. What does it mean? below are the details/meaning mentioned by the Feng Shui master:

Personal Year 8:
Health, Wealth and Abundance


This is a potent year that usually gives all aspects of your
life a big positive boost but it especially favors your
career and money matters. This is a good year to buy a new
home, find a new job or put a business plan into action.
While you are in a year 8 others find you more attractive and
charismatic and many people find themselves thrust into a
position of great authority or power during 8's influence. If
you focus on making money, you more than likely will during
this prosperous cycle.

Rainbow Chaser: Ang Mamatay ng Dahil Sa Iyo

Rainbow Chaser: Ang Mamatay ng Dahil Sa Iyo

Ang Mamatay ng Dahil Sa Iyo

In Philippine’s old time, the last lyrics of Lupang Hinirang, which is “For us, thy sons, to suffer and die” or “ Ang mamatay ng dahil sayo” means to die in dignity or to risk one’s life for our country and countrymen.

Now, I don’t want to think that it is gradually losing its significance because some Filipinos are suffering and dying here in our country because of man-made means such as injustice, overusing of power, crimes involving money, discrimination, unfairly treatment specially to less fortunate, illiterate, weak, and some prisoners.

IF YOU CAN'T RISK YOUR LIFE, BETTER GIVE LOVE THAN TO TAKE SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE.


"Lupang Hinirang"

Composed by Julian Felipe on June 12, 1898


Bayang magiliw, perlas ng silanganan.
Alab ng puso, sa dibdib mo'y buhay.
Lupang hinirang, duyan ka ng magiting
Sa manlulupig, di ka pasisiil.

Sa dagat at bundok, sa simoy at
sa langit mong bughaw,
may dilag ang tula at awit
sa paglayang minamahal.

Ang kislap ng watawat mo'y
tagumpay na nagniningning.
Ang bituin at araw niya
kailan pa may di magdidilim.

Lupa ng araw, ng lualhati't pagsinta,
buhay ay langit sa piling mo.
Aming ligaya na pag may mang-aapi,
ang mamatay ng dahil sa iyo.

Digeus System Optimizer suite

Digeus System Optimizer suite

3rd Strike

We fell inlove with each other but, we didn't end up together 'cos of his situation.

25 Regrets

1. I regret that I wasn’t able to control my feelings for you despite the fact that there is really no chance for you to love me.

2. I regret that I let myself fall for you harder when you kissed me goodbye, on my lips, last April 8, 2010.

3. Since that kiss, I regret that I hope, pray, and expect that you will love me too.

4. I regret on times when I invited you to accompany me wherever I want to go only because I just want to see and be with you.

5. I regret that I’ve been so kind because I have been blinded by my love for you.

6. I regret that I allowed myself to have sex with you. I regret to believe that you love me that time.

7. I regret that I allowed you to hug me, kiss me, and hold my hands.

8. I regret that I fall for you even harder when we were at Puerto Galera.

9. I regret that I was able to sold my most valuable Sony Cyber-Shot Digital Camera so that we can have fare back to Manila from Puerto Galera. I regret that I lied to you and now I’m broke.

10. I regret I’ve been a damn fool!

11. I regret that I was not able to understand when you said that you tried your best to love me but after all, friendship is all that you can give to me.

12. I regret that I still pursued my feelings for you.

13. I regret that I was not able to give my whole attention and love to the man who caught me when you just let me fall for you.

14. I regret that I let him go because I don’t want to be unfair to him. I can’t deny that I love you more than him.

15. I regret that I didn’t give him the chance for me to love him.

16. I regret that I can’t cry all these pain I’m feeling now.

17. I regret that I miss you so much.

18. I regret that I met you.

19. I regret that I fell in love with you.

20. I regret that I can’t get over of you.

21. I regret that I still want you.

22. I regret that I still love you.

23. I regret that day and night, I think of you.

24. I regret the time wasted being a fool.

25. I regret that there will be no chance anymore to tell all these to you.

Above all these, I didn’t regret that the love I felt for you is true and now, I believe that some things are worth giving up.

I’ll move on…

Life goes on…

What song do you want played at your funeral?

Rainbow Connection by Jason Mraz and Paul Williams.

Ask me anything

Rainbow Chaser: IMPOSSIBLE means YOU

Rainbow Chaser: IMPOSSIBLE means YOU

IMPOSSIBLE means YOU

You came in to my life and I never really expected that what I feel for you, as a friend, will grow.

Yes, it grew…and it is hurting me now.

I tried my best to keep it, to control it, and to conceal it but, I guessed you really catched my heart.

But, why this feeling hurts me so much?

There are lots of reasons that I knew from the very beginning and those reasons were never enough for me to control myself in loving you…

I LOVE YOU…but, I believed you will never love me.

I LOVE YOU and this ain’t right.

I LOVE YOU but loving me seems to be so impossible to you.

I LOVE YOU that day and night I keep on thinking of you though I knew I never did cross your mind.

I LOVE YOU that I wanna hold you and be mine but I guessed, this is the most impossible thing cause your love is a million miles away from me.

I LOVE YOU but we are and we will never be for each other.

I LOVE YOU and it hurts.

It really hurts me that when I fell in love with you, I started to understand what the word IMPOSSIBLE means.

Love, why are you so mean to me? You came in to my life and break every single pieces of my heart.

I just wish there will come a night that I will stop dreaming of you. I am hoping too, when I wake up one morning…there’s no more single hope and love that I will still feel for you.

Are You A Woman Enough?

"A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own even if she never wants
to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her
dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black
lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who
lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone
else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a
recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
HOW TO QUIT A JOB,
BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,
AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't
take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing....

                      EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...                                

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...

 a month...and a year..."

Soul mate

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."

— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

Does Having A Boyfriend Will Really Complete My Puzzle?

I'm bored.

Sometimes sad.

I feel alone most of the time.

I am envious of nothing.

I can't understand why am I like this...

I asked help from my friend. With no hesitations, he answered "Wala ka kasi boyfriend eh!"

I answered, "masyado kasi mailap sa akin yung pag-ibig, hindi ko alam kung bakit"

He said, "Mukha ka kasing nagtataray eh"

I explained, "Ganon naman kasi talaga muka ko eh, mukang mataray. At saka talagang magsusungit ako lalo na kung ayoko ng mga tumitingin sa akin noh."

He suggested, "Try mo kaya maging pa-sweet?"

Pano kaya yun? maging pa-sweet para lang magka-bf ako? That would not be me.


Oh God, I know you have plans for me. Like most said, I'm still young and marami pang lalaki sa mundo.


Nabobored na kasi ako eh.

Naiinip na rin.

I am hoping na kung sino man ang susunod kung maging bf, sana siya na forever.

I hope he holds the missing puzzle piece.

I hope he'll complete me.

I hope he'll give me the love I'm wishing for.

I hope he'll make me happy.


My waiting will worth someday and NOW is still not the RIGHT TIME for me to meet him and for him to meet me.

Happiness, I'll wait for you.